Monday, March 24, 2008

Parent Preview: Exposed! [week.1 crush,crush,crush]

This weekend we start our new series on sexual purity and dating called EXPOSED! In this series we want your students to learn about God's great plan for sex in their lives and how they can make good choices now, about when and who to date, setting boundaries and keeping promises, that will benefit them in the future and lead to a godly, satisfying and intimate marriage. We will expose the lies that the world is telling your students about love and sex, and replace them with the truth from God's word.

Here are the main points and verses that we will be discussing this weekend (3.31), so that you can be prepared ahead of time to have meaningful conversations with your student about what they are learning. Please let us know if there is anything else that we can assist you with to help you connect and discuss this topic with your student.

EXPOSED! [the naked truth about sex and dating]
week.1 - crush, crush, crush

Dating brings up a lot of questions in the minds of students. When can I start? Who should I go out with? What am I supposed to do? Why even date in the first place? Does God say anythign about dating?

All of these are good questions to ask, but unfortunately the Bible says absolutely nothing about dating. Dating wasn't around in Biblical times so instead of trying to cram verses about marriage to fit into dating, we will take a look at the whole picture of God's view on love, relationships and gender to determine what the appropriate move on dating should be. But know that anything you ever hear about the "Bible's position on dating," is an opinion. (Even if Joshua Harris says otherwise.)

Genesis 2:28-25:
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
19
So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one.
20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.
22
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
23
“At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
24
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
25
Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

This passages shows us that women and man are created as equals and are designed to belong together. The woman is strong where the man is weak and vice versa. While Adam looked for a "helper" among the animals that God created, it was obvious that none of them would do, so God decided to create again, someone just like Adam, not just a "helper," but a "companion,"an "equal." Women is the only thing God created to make a perfect creation better.

The GOAL of dating is to prepare for a GOOD MARRIAGE.

Proverbs 4:23:
23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

Our decisions determine our direction, which will ALWAYS lead us to a destination. So often, we arrive at a destination and wonder how we got there. As we think about dating this verse has so many implications. If we know we want to arrive at a certain destination, or at least avoid other destinations, then we need to make decisions about our direction ahead of time. Our hearts are going to decide who we date and eventually who we marry, so how are the choices that we make now, setting us up for success in our marriage one day in the future? We need to take the time to make sure that we have a goal in mind, and that our present actions are moving up towards achieving that goal. So we have to ask the questions, in dating, "What am I aiming for?"

In dating, you GET what you AIM for.

Matthew 7:6:
6 "Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you."

This verse sets the standard for dating other Christians, and even then, waiting to date until you know what you are looking for in a mate. The Bible tells us that our bodies are the temple of the holy spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) so that makes us holy, and we need to protect that holiness, but making sure that the people that we date are on our same playing field, emotionally, relationally, and most importantly, spiritually.

GIRLS:
Your WORTH does not come from your DATING STATUS.

GUYS:
The most MANLY thing you can do is RESPECT women.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7:
3
God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor, 5 not in lustful passion like those who do not know God and His ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives."

Dating can be a great experience that helps us become more selfless, learn to get along with people of the opposite sex, and help us discover what qualities we are looking for in a person to marry. However, statistics show that the earlier that you start dating the more likely you are to cross a boundary and sacrifice your purity. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 tells us that if we hook up with a person that is not our spouse, we are violating not only our own marriage, but someone else's as well. So, sometimes the best choice we can make to ensure our purity is to wait to date exclusively, until we are old enough to know what it means to really be in a relationship that has a goal of preparing for marriage.

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