Pure [week 2] - You can't do it...
So last week we talked about how purity is way bigger than we think it is. Pursuing purity is something that involves all of who we are for the rest of our lives, it’s not just for this short time while you are a teenager or when you’re single. Purity also involves your mind and the way you think; your heart and the way you feel; your spiritual connection with God; and how you chose to honor God and your future spouse with your body. Choosing to live pure now will actually prepare you for a great marriage in the future… Oh ya and great sex too! We’re going to talk more today about how you don’t really get one with out the other. For the rest of this message, we are going to assume that nobody in the room has a desire for a bad marriage in the future… is that a pretty fair assumption? Okay, cool just checking.
If you think about anything in your life that you’ve had to prepare for like a test at school or a big game or an audition for choir or drama, you probably remember some of the things you did to get yourself ready mentally and physically before the big day. If it was a test, hopefully you read the material you were assigned and studied really hard. If it was a big game you practiced, ran drills with your team, envisioned the plays/routine over and over in your head. For an audition you warm up your voice, practice your song, or run your lines for the play over and over again. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be if you decided to figure it out as you go on the big day when it really counted. Most likely that would be an epic failure of an attempt to pass a test if you never read the book or studied, you’d probably lose the game or not get the part for the play. The sad thing is, is that this is how most people think about relationships, marriage and sex.
The truth is that more than half of marriages end in divorce, you all know that if you were to score less than a 50% that would be an F-. This is a really sad reality that more marriages fail than succeed, and the statistic is no different for marriages between people who claim to be Christians. Just believing in Jesus is not what makes a marriage successful, and it will take much more than just “loving each other a whole lot.” Just like anything else you care about, a great marriage one day will not “just happen” by accident.
Even if you’ve never seen a healthy marriage, even if your parents are divorced or separated or were never married to begin with, its possible to have the kind of marriage that will last forever. And just like any other goal in life the preparation for a good marriage will require a lot of effort now. I can’t think of a bigger decision you’ll ever make than the decision to spend the rest of your life with a person. One of the pictures the Bible gives us of marriage is that “two become one.” It’s a lot more than just a big white dress a cake and a paper you sign at the courthouse. God describes it as every part of you is connected intimately with one other person physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Not only is it a connection with a person, it is a connection with God. This is the purest picture of what sex was created to be.
“There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:16-20
There is an important question that jumps out from this passage. Do you see your body as something that belongs to you? Or does it belong to God? Do you treat your body as something that belongs to God? Or do you treat it however you want to?
Ultimately, if we you are committed to purity for real, it comes down to one main question… Have you given your entire life to Christ? Not just your body, but your entire life. Are you starting to see that this is so much bigger than “just wait ‘til you’re married, okay!”? Its okay if you’re not there yet, trust me we don’t want you to decide on a whim that you’re committed to purity… it can’t be for your parents, it can’t be for your life group leader, it has to be a decision you make for God… because it is going to take God’s strength not just your own will power to help you pursue purity. It is going to take a commitment to a community of other people who can support you and hold you accountable.
Girl’s Purity Commitment Questions:
Are you willing to dress in a way that shows that your body belongs to God?
-Ask yourself “who am I trying to impress?”
-Does this draw attention to a certain body part?
How are you going to develop a healthy view of your body?
-Pick apart everything you see as a flaw? or appreciate how God made you?
-Trust God to help you beat addictions: eating disorders, cutting, sexual, etc.
Are you willing to fight the desire to compare yourself to others?
-Pride has a sneaky way of making us feel better/worse than others.
-Humility is being content with who you are, no more no less.
Are you going to set appropriate boundaries with guys?
-Viewing them as Brothers in Christ not relational conquests
-Not going to far physically (How much can you save for your future husband)
-Only dating guys who are committed to Jesus & who are pursuing purity too.
How will you value other Girls who God has placed in your life?
-Not gossiping or listening to gossip! Especially no “prayer request gossip”
-Be willing to hold each other accountable
Guy’s Purity Commitment Questions:
Are you willing to fight for purity of your thoughts & guarding your eyes?
-Do you see girls as God’s prized possession or your eye candy?
-Will you do whatever it takes to keep yourself from the trap of pornography?
How will you develop a healthy view of Manhood?
-The most masculine thing you can do is RESPECT WOMEN!
-How do you combat the pressure to please others instead of please God.
Are you sending Girls the right message?
-Avoid playing games with girls’ emotions, flirting to get attention
-Can you genuinely compliment girls & try to build them up (selflessly)
Are you going to set appropriate boundaries with girls?
-Viewing them as Sisters in Christ not relational or physical conquests.
-Not going to far physically (How much can you save for your future wife)
-Only dating girls who are committed to Jesus & who are pursuing purity too.
How will you value other Guys who God has placed in your life?
-Not putting other guys down. (search your heart if you are jealous)
-Be willing to hold each other accountable
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