What a great start to our new EXPOSED! series we are having! We hope that you had a great conversation with your student after this weekend, where they learned how BIG sex is designed to be! We hope that they came home with the understanding that sex was created by God to be great and that He knows how to make it the best. Often students feel that God is trying to keep something good from them by telling us to wait until marriage for sex, but we learned that God sees our sexuality as a priceless gift and that if we try to see it from His perspective, then what He says to do about it will make perfect sense. We also hope that they begin to realize that sex is a much bigger deal than the world leads us to believe.
Students are always looking for a boundary, and line that they know that they can go all the way up to and not get in trouble. Unfortunately the Bible does not give a hard and fast line, because God knows that sex is bigger than we think. This makes the conversation more difficult at times, but also more relevant and true for our lives. Many churches have stressed that we shouldn't have sex until we are married, which is good, but they regretfully do not discuss the things that are most commonly happening in student sexual lives. Things that they do not view as sex, but are sexual in nature. This has lead to a lot of confusion in the lives of teens, especially those in church.
PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT TWICE:
If you have a 6th grade or older student, you MUST be asking them questions about masturbation and pornography for their protection because that is where the pressure is, not just "sex."
When you ask you student about "sex" they think about just that, "sex" so if they have not had sex, they say "no" but they still may have had oral sex, manual sex, masturbated or looked at pornography. It is important for you conversations with you student to be specific so that they are best prepared to deal with the pressure they are receiving from their friends at school.
Here are the main points and verses that we will be discussing this weekend (4.13), so that you can be prepared ahead of time to have meaningful conversations with your student about what they are learning. Please let us know if there is anything else that we can assist you with to help you connect and discuss this topic with your student.
EXPOSED! [the naked truth about sex and dating]
week.3 - technical virgin
This week we will be discussing what God has to say about all those things that kids face pressure to do that come 'before' sex. We will be splitting up into two groups for Junior High this weekend, boys and girls. This will allow us to better cater the conversation to the specific needs of each gender. That said both groups will be hearing about what the Bible has to say about some topics that are not usually discussed in church, but are very prevalent in the lives of Junior High and High School students, christian or otherwise.
Topics like: oral sex, masturbation, pornography, self image, friends with benefits, homosexuality and modesty.
They Bible tells us clearly that we are designed for sexual enjoyment and fulfillment, but in order to have the best experience we have to follow God's guidelines.
"You say, 'I am allowed to do anything'—but not everything is good for you. And even though 'I am allowed to do anything,' I must not become a slave to anything. You say, 'Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.' But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies."
1 Corinthians 6:12-13
God’s standard is not VIRGINITY, it’s PURITY.
The Bible tells us not to just limit ourself to virginity. Virginity is not the goal, it is not God's best. Virginity simply means that sexual intercourse has not occurred. This become problematic for students because they begin to assume that anything other than sexual intercourse is fine, and will not have any problematic consequences, physical or emotional.
Because God wants your student to have great sex, He wants to protect them from the things that can keep them from having it (i.e: emotional baggage, addiction & STDs) The truth is that you can be a virgin and still not be pure (be a "technical virgin" but be a avid porn watcher or have had oral sex), and you can not be a virgin and still be pure (be a victim of sexual abuse or rape, and yet still choose to not willingly participate in sexual activity until your wedding night).
"And then he added, 'It is what comes from inside that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.'"
Mark 7:20-22
The fact that we look for a BOUNDARY, says a lot about OUR HEARTS.
So what counts when it comes to sex? Our HEARTS! Our desire for a boundary communicates that we are looking to get away with as much as possible, rather than being focused on saving as much as possible for our future spouse. Immorality is defined and taking what is not yours, so sexual immorality is taking someone's sexuality that doesn't belong to you. For example: Pornography is looking at someone else's wife or husband so you are stealing their sexuality from them. Lust is stealing someone else's purity by imagining them in a sexual way. Oral sex is stealing an experience from your future husband or wife and stealing their ability to feel safe and comparison free in your future marriage.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
1 Corinthians 6: 18-20
The Bible says we need to run away from sexual immorality. What are some things in your life that you need to distance yourself from:
This time will be for each gender group to discuss those areas of sexual immorality that are most difficult for them. The Bible says to run away from anything that causes us to sin sexual and the question we want to get the students to ask themselves is, "How serious am I about putting God first in my life, and how does that play out in my commitment to remain as sexually pure as possible?" We want them to be willing to avoid sexual sin, even if it makes them look dumb, feel awkward, loose a boyfriend or a girlfriend or even mean making some real sacrificial changes in their life so that they can honor God and really respect their future spouse and set themselves up for a joyful, fulfilling and exciting sexual connection in marriage.
The more you save, the more you can give to your future spouse. Pay now, Play later!
ONE LAST THOUGHT:
PURITY paves the way to INTIMACY.
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