The Spark (6th-8th Grade)
Week.3: Don't Get Stung!
They Bible tells us clearly that we are designed for sexual enjoyment and fulfillment, but in order to have the best experience we have to follow God's guidelines. However, only holding out our virginity is not the goal, it is not God's best. Virginity simply means that sexual intercourse has not occurred. This become problematic for students because they begin to assume that anything other than sexual intercourse is fine, and will not have any problematic consequences, physical or emotional.
God’s standard for our life is not just VIRGINITY it’s PURITY.
Immorality is defined and taking what is not yours, so sexual immorality is taking someone's sexuality that doesn't belong to you. For example: Pornography is looking at someone else's wife or husband so you are stealing their sexuality from them. Lust is stealing someone else's purity by imagining them in a sexual way.
“You say, 'I am allowed to do anything'—but not everything is good for you. And even though 'I am allowed to do anything,' I must not become a slave to anything. You say, 'Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.' But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies."
1 Corinthians 6:12-13
The Bible says to run away from anything that causes us to sin sexual and the question we want to get the students to ask themselves is, "How serious am I about putting God first in my life, and how does that play out in my commitment to remain as sexually pure as possible?" We want them to be willing to avoid sexual sin, even if it makes them look dumb, feel awkward, loose a boyfriend or a girlfriend or even mean making some real sacrificial changes in their life so that they can honor God and really respect their future spouse and set themselves up for a joyful, fulfilling and exciting sexual connection in marriage.
Setting BOUNDARIES ahead of time keeps us from getting STUNG!
Students are always looking for a boundary, and line that they know that they can go all the way up to and not get in trouble. Unfortunately the Bible does not give a hard and fast line, because God knows that sex is bigger than we think. This makes the conversation more difficult at times, but also more relevant and true for our lives. Many churches have stressed that we shouldn't have sex until we are married, which is good, but they regretfully do not discuss the things that are most commonly happening in student sexual lives. Things that they do not view as sex, but are sexual in nature. This has lead to a lot of confusion in the lives of teens, especially those in church.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful; love lasts forever.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
We want to close out this discussion talking about God's definition of love, and how if you are pursing love, you will not substitute it for sexual activity, because 'love is patient... and it doesn't demand it's own way.'
Big Idea:
It’s not LOVE unless it’s FOREVER.
4ORTY 2WO (9th-12 Grade)
Week.3: Caution I'm Hot... Don't Get Burned!
In the 21st century we have seriously jacked up the idea of Love and Sex. Many young people feel like having sex for the first time is something to just get over with before High School is over, so that they’ll be ready for college. ‘Being in love’ has become some milestone that one must reach in order to justify that they are ready for sexual activity. This understanding shatters lives, breaks hearts and cheapens our understanding of love. Truth be told… There’s not a condom in the world that can protect you from a broken heart!
God’s standard for our sex life is not just VIRGINITY it’s PURITY.
In many ways this is much harder than “just wait until your married,” it’s not just “abstinence is the only safe-sex,” rather it encompasses all of who we are, our mind, heart, body and soul. God cares about everything because our thoughts about ourselves and about other people reflect the condition of our heart and our relationship with Him.
“You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything. You say, ‘Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.’ (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.”
1 Corinthians 6:12-13
We need to set boundaries with our thoughts, so that we can set limits for our choices. These boundaries need to protect us emotionally and physically.
Setting BOUNDARIES ahead of time keeps us from getting BURNED in the heat of the moment.
If you are seriously looking for a “line” not to cross you should think of the question in a different way, instead of giving/taking just enough from someone to not make God mad, think of how much you can save/protect for your future husband or wife one day, so that you can give the most of yourself that you possibly can. Those boundaries are not something anyone can make for you, you must come up with these for yourself, talk about it with a friend, parent or adult you trust and most of all if you surrender this area of your life to God and seek His wisdom, He won't let you down. Common sense: anything that is covered by a bathing suit is a no-go area of your body, long make out sessions might get you going sexually because that is how our bodies are created, just be honest with yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend of how sensitive you are.
It’s important to set boundaries for what you allow to influence your thought life. The things you watch, sexual scenes in movies, pornography, etc., have a profound affect on what we begin to think is OK for us to act out in our behavior. They also can have a very detrimental affect on how we view ourselves, as well as members of the opposite sex.
“God wants you to live a pure life. Keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity. Learn to appreciate and give dignity to your body, not abusing it, as is so common among those who know nothing of God. Don't abuse your brothers or sisters. Their concerns are God's concerns, and He will take care of them. We've warned you about this before. God hasn't invited us into a disorderly, unkempt life but into something holy and beautiful - as beautiful on the inside as the outside.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7
In GOD’S FAMILY there is no such thing as CASUAL SEX.
So the question begs to be answered… How far is too far when it comes to sex?
Well how far would you go with your dad in the room? How far would you go with your brother or sister? I know that sounds gross to think of it that way, but that’s what it looks like from God’s perspective as our Heavenly father, He sees it as abuse or just plain disturbing if we use each other for our own selfish pleasure.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
God wants us to be “love-elitists” when it comes to our thoughts on sexual purity.
Emotional purity… desiring/dropping the “L” bomb prematurely can be dangerous if the level of commitment is not forever, it has the potential to over promise and under-deliver. Not to mention, can accelerate your physical desire for that person. We are wired to want sex when we are promised Love, it is a biological and spiritual reaction to that level of intimacy. If the person you are with avoids meeting your parents, being around your friends, if your friends don’t like this person, if this person is not following God, that should be a huge red flag.
BIG IDEA:
It’s not really LOVE until it’s FOREVER.
[Please let us know if there is anything else that we can assist you with to help you connect and discuss this topic with your student. Feel free to email thoughts, comments or questions to students@pointofgrace.com and we will get back to you! Until next week...]
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